i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
foreskin is a definite game changer
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
