Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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