Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
