Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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