one word: firstdatebathroomanal
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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