I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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