Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
