Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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