what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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