I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She even gives head with a lisp.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
