the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
