I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
You know itās going to be a rough day when you scream āGet fuckedā at your alarm clock
Itās just hard to believe you really care about me when u havenāt touched my dick in 2 months
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
