Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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