At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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