if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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