he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
then he tried to convert me to islam
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
