end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
