some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
