dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
