She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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