when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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