how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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