I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
My ass is underappreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize