Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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