Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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