I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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