just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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