would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
