"it" just moved
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
