I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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