i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
