Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize