Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
