barbara walters just said penis...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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