you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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