the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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