My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
there is puke in my bra ... again
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
