just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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