Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize