Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
