he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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