I love black thongs
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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