i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
