Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I cut my penus on the lid.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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