You smell like stripper and shame
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
