i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
