i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
