did you get engaged???
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
