I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
