I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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