ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
