Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
