Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
