Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
