dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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