I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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