I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
