I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
