Rock
Scissors
Fuck
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
