I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
