matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I believe in your delicious
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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